Thursday, July 25, 2013

I wish I worked for Darth Vader

Recently I was watching a fellow employee go through some disciplinary action at work.  It just made me sick to my stomach to watch this co-worker go through all this corporate nonsense.

Look, we all screw up!  So what if the guy wrecked a company car while he was drunk?  It's an honest mistake that we've probably all done a time or two.  Does that mean he should be subjected to a termination and hours of HR nonsense about having a better sense of ownership about the company?

I personally liked Darth Vader's management style much better.  If you screwed up on Vader's watch, he would just force choke your ass out.  No questions asked!  It's so much more clean that way.  No boring meetings or stupid disciplinary reports!  Just one quick force choke and its all over!

Now to be honest, I'm not quite sure that current laws would allow a company to do this. But that was what made Vader such a great boss.  He did not give a shit what some stupid workplace law said; he just did it!  Efficiency and sustainability at its best.  And if you did not like it? Too bad - he would just blow up your whole damn planet with the Death Star!

And let's not forget, Vader was a pretty cool boss too!  He always gave you awesome uniforms, took you on company trips to exotic locations like Hoth and let you drive around in really cool company vehicles like Tie Fighters and AT-AT walkers.

All in all, Vader was the perfect boss and I think he gets a bad rap.  He'll, he even let storm troopers hang out in bars while on the clock.  Who could ask for more?

And on one final note.  If I'm ever accused if something at work I always ask them if they believe me and my side of the story.  If they say no, this line never fails.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."