Monday, May 21, 2012

That smells awful good!

On my recent trip to the mall, I was kicked out of Bath and Body works for demanding they let me take a bath in there.  But, before that happened, I had a chance to spray myself down with about 35-40 different fragrances that they have around the store.  Yeah, I smelled great!  And this was after my trip to Ulta, where I tried on around 10 different types of cologne.  Sure a few people passed out in the elevator on the way up there, but, I'm sure that had nothing to do with me.

It got me to thinking about all the different types of fragrances that they have in there.  A lot of floral, aquatic and wood smells.  But, what if a person is not familiar with those types of smells?  What if they grew up in a different setting and were familiar with other types of smells?  So, I have invented a new line of fragrance for people that might want to smell something you grew up around.  A smell that makes you think of home!

For instance, if you grew up on the south side of Chicago, with a room above a dumpster, you might like a fragrance called...  "Dumpster on Halsted Street" A wonderful fragrance of a homeless man urinating on trash under your window.  Just like HOME! 

Or, if you were like me, you might have a roommate that smelled a little different.  So, here we have a fragrance called... "Rastafarian Roommate"  It is a blend of patchouli, hemp, incense and B.O. 

Maybe you were a person that grew up in your grandma's house.  So this is a candle I call, "Grandma's Cookies and Mothball's"  It is a refreshing whiff of  cat urine and moth balls with a subtle note of burnt cookies and Ben Gay.

Or, you could know somebody that grew up in a rural area and likes the smell of the country.  Not that horseshit "Rain On The Meadow" stuff.  The real country, a fragrance called... "Pig farm near Roadkill Road"  It's a wonderful aroma of a stable with a dead skunk note in the background.  Lovely for those men in your life who prefer to use OFF mosquito replant instead of AXE body spray.

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